Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

The big review!

Okay, I've been home for about an hour. It sucked, working for an hour and twenty minutes, knowing that you were the only one who even did work. But, if I do get triple pay, then that's 36 dollars and some change. Can't hate on that, can you?

Yesterday, we saw Transformers at the theater here in town instead of going to the one that we normally go to. The people in this town are shameless and bring a multitude of small, annoying, children who cannot sit still and enjoy walking down the halls and talking. And kicking Vanessa's seat, can't forget that.

Before we went to see the movie, though, we watched some Hannah Montana. I've never watched the show myself, but damn, that show is something else. Vanessa loves it, and there are parts where it is actually pretty amusing in the most basic way possible. High brow entertainment it is not. And the guys on that show all have HORRID hair. Billy Ray Cyrus... 'nuff said... plus, there's another annoying little Mexican kid on the show. First Ugly Betty, now Hannah Montana? It's just not right.

Finally, a movie that doesn't have any prequels for me to watch (or not watch, as was the case with both movies I've seen this summer), and a subject in which I am an expert. I love me my Transformers. And I was both looking forward to and dreading this movie. Some people complain about Michael Bay, but I don't give a damn about Michael Bay either way, so I didn't go into the film thinking that it would suck because of Michael Bay. Needless to say, this is a good movie. It has flaws, but it well worth seeing.

The thing I liked the most about this movie is that it doesn't try and be anything more than what it is. This is mindless action at it's best, folks. We don't get into anything deep or meaningful. It's about robots beating the holy hell out of other robots, and or humans, and that's just fine. Plus, it doesn't try and fit a bunch of subplots into the film in an effort to clutter everything up. No, this is a pretty seamless film.

The effects are good. Very good. Unlike Fantastic Four there aren't any moments where I felt like things were done a little bit too poorly. It all transitioned well. There wasn't anything that blew me away with its greatness, but there wasn't stuff that made me roll my eyes. Okay, in regards to the effects.

This movie is partially about fan service for people like me. I'm not against fan service. No sir, I like it when it is done right. The classic transformation sound made me giddy, and Prime's 'one shall stand, one shall fall' line being uttered in this movie made me squeal like a pre-pubescent girl at a Jesse McCartney concert (he's still relatively big there, right?). I like stuff like that. I wanted more. I wanted Dinobots. Or just Grimlock. Grimlock!

My favorite Transformer was Frenzy, or, as I like to call him, the Gollum-bot. He was amusing! And the cell phone robot was cute in a sadistic evil sort of way. Awww, he's shooting at us with a little machine gun. I just want to hug him and squeeze him!

Peter Cullen as Prime. Nuff Said.

I know I said that this movie is seamless, and I stand by that statement, but I also feel like it was WAY TOO DAMNED LONG! Seriously, 2 hours and 24 minutes of my life. And it felt like it. Not that it was boring, it was just so drawn out. They truly could have gotten rid of some much shit and it would have made the film more cohesive. Most of the human stuff, for example, stupid, push it aside. I fear the DVD and the '40 minutes of deleted scenes,' because I wonder what the hell they could possibly want to put in there that they didn't.

Humans suck. The parents were amusing. They really were. Megan Fox is hot (but doesn't do much), and Shia Lebouf is horrid and needs to go away. But really, the human characters are pretty damned pointless. Yet they take up HOW much time in the film? Seriously, so much time. I want to see Transformers because I want to see the ROBOTS. Not the people. I can understand why they did it. Budget means that we can't have a live action CGI film with nothing but robots, but it goes with chipping away at the run time by taking away the human stuff and therefore making the Transformers seem more like the stars that they should be in their own damned film. So many characters in this film, the humans make up 90% of it. Less humans next time. They'll have a bigger budget, because this film will make money, so they can get away with it.

The final action sequence became monotonous. Though I give the film props for FINALLY having the guts to kill off random humans (FF and Spidey-3, I'm looking at you!), the final action sequence just kept on going on and on and on. Plus, it used recycled footage. This isn't old school animation (unless that was a throwback to the classic cartoon, in which case I will begrudgingly accept it), we don't want to see people circling around the same buildings for an hour if they're supposed to be far away.

You know what else was bad? Whoring out products. People say such things of the first Fantastic Four (still haven't seen it, integrity intact!), but from what I've heard I think that this film has outdone it. Everywhere you turn there's some random product placement that seems way out of character. At least FF is in NYC, where they have stuff like that. I don't even know where Transformers is taking place. Really. But the whoring was bad. It made me feel dirty. Unclean. Unclean.

And, I have to come out and say it. I want my subject matter to adhere! You don't give me Bumblebee and make him something other than a Slug bug (having the classic Bumblebee car next to the movie incarnation is not enough!). You don't 'trick out' Prime by giving him flames and shit. You don't name a robot Devastator and not have him be a huge honking robot made up of 6 other robots. You. Just. Don't. Not to me. This is a kids movie (though I wouldn't recommend bringing kids, due to the runtime), but it is from subject material that is damned important to plenty of people, including me. Don't spit on our dreams, dammit.

Plus, there was some inane humor. Bumblebee pissing on cops was just shameless, and so was Sam losing his pants (and somehow getting them back without a problem...). It was barely there, but it was cringe worthy.

Overall, Transformers was better than it had any right to be. It could have been better still, but it is the film that I have the least amount of problems with out of the films that I've seen all summer. Not saying much, but at the same time saying enough.

Point scale grade: 7/10
Grade Grade: B-


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:28 pm (UTC)
Don't tell me you actually Wiki'd around looking for that...

But, if you did, good job!
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
first think i did when i got home, pretty much imdb jj's name. but also if you put in the release date that showed at the trailer you get a website but nothing's on it: http://www.1-18-08.com/
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:36 pm (UTC)
Ahhhh, crafty girl, using IMDB.

This morning I Wiki'd that guy from Hannah to see if he really was that old. And he is. Damn, that's scary.

Whatchu up to today?
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
yup. did i not say i was the coolest girl in the world.

but anyway... i'm curretly cleaning up the bathroom, like getting down and scrubing the tiles with a toothbrush. terrible. my parents are home, so their painting. i wish i worked today. could have made some easy money.
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
Easy HOLIDAY PAY money, no less. Much as your mom loves me, I don't think she would let you get out of your Cinderella phase to hang. You could try it, though. If you wanted.

And you didn't say you were the coolest girl in the world. You said you were told that you were the coolest girl in the world but didn't believe that you were the coolest girl in the world.
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
i'm afraid to even go down stairs. terrible. O_o. can't really hang today, i gotta wash my hair, i just colored it last night and then straighten it.. stupid hair.
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
Got it. Hair is important. I know this well. Very important.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )