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Rise of the Silver Surfer Review and More!

The review will come shortly, the more starts now. Todai's costs about 60 bucks for dinner, and they're the only buffet place I've ever been to that requested a tip. I left them one, of course. But, girltype was quite content with the place, and the whole point of going was so that she could be happy. The joy of having money, I suppose.

Waking up early on Saturday's is horrible. I hate that shit so damned much. Today was my last day of getting to work with Cindy on the weekends, I think. I don't think she'll come in any more. She isn't 'required' to, it depends on what she thinks. That would just leave me, Brett, and Levi. They're quite connected, those two, which basically means that I'll be the odd man out. I can accept this, but damn it will probably suck.

I'm trying to get rid of this isearch crap, and I bought something online that was like 'guaranteed to get rid of it!' but they didn't, because I'm still getting pop ups, and it is pissing me the fuck off. there went another 45 bucks. It caught some stuff, though. So I can be thankful for that

Okay, so we go to the AMC theater. It's not that expensive (11 bucks a ticket), and it was a nice theater. The arcade sucked. No fighting games at all. At. All. Sad times. There was a Simpsons movie display, but Homer's arm was broken. Sadness. And it was decided we would see Hairspray. Latifah's in it. Though she has blonde hair, and it don't look so good. Zac Efron is also in it. Tweens will be rampant. I hate tweens.

Movie review coming now. Honest.

Much like Spider-Man 3, I went into this film having not watched the previous installment, my embitterment over the bastard that is Chris Evans and his 'I'm better than you fans, ha ha' comment fueled my rage. Rage is still there. I may very well never see the first, but the idea of watching Chris Evans get his ass kicked continually (and it does happen) was simply too good to pass up. I'm petty. Yes, I know. So, if you think that my lack of watching the prior movie will somehow lessen this review, well then you can just carry yourself on.

First, before I go into anything, I need to get this off my chest. I'm calling for an IMMEDIATE moratorium in regards to superhero movies that involve dancing of any kind. Two Marvel movies in a row with horrid dance numbers is two too many. At least this one was at the very beginning, and didn't drag on for an ungodly long amount of time. Or feature the character looking like some Good Charolette reject. But I digress.

Okay, we'll start with the good. If you're looking for a relatively mindless piece of fluff action film with some moments of comedy, then this is a good film. It's certainly a decent film for children, because it doesn't really get into anything deep. There's a few parts where the kiddies probably shouldn't be around, but what are you going to do?

One thing I really didn't like about Spider-Man 3 was the amount of just straight up plot holes that the movie left you with at the end. Or the sheer luck that went in to doing things. This film doesn't have that. There's only a few questions at the end, but they're not massively important like 'what the hell happened to Sandman's daughter, dammit?', so they're much easier to stomach.

Most of the special effects are good. Yes, Galactus is a cloud, and that's stupid, but the effects of the devourer aren't all that bad. They're quite good. Other special effects, like the power swapping, are good too. Not everything is good. The helicopter that flies over the wedding at the beginning looks entirely CG, or it wasn't and it just didn't blend with the CG at all, and Reed's dancing effects are kind of blah. Probably due to the lack of a green screen or something. I don't know. It just didn't flow for me.

Acting wise. Doug Jones is a wonderful body actor for the Silver Surfer. His movements are very fluid, and filled with just the right amount of nobility, and his eyes do a hell of a lot of acting, which always pleases me. I approve of this casting, greatly.

The woman who they got to play Alicia is a good actress. I'm a cannon whore, I don't like that white girl in comic is cast as black girl in movie because I want my adaptations to stick to the original material more than anything else. That said, for what she does (and it isn't much, which is sad), the girl does damned good. Plus, she's got plenty of points on the hotness scale.

This is the part that I don't really want to write. The part where I basically suck up my pride and give kudos where they are due. Chris Evans is a good Johnny. He doesn't have the hair that he needs to have in order to fill the role all the way (but at least he grew out his hair, that shaved head thing in the last film made me cringe), but mannerisms are down, and he 'gets' what Johnny Storm is about. That's important. I liked it, a lot. I hate the bastard, but that doesn't mean I can't say he didn't do a good job.

That brings me to my biggest problem with this film: casting. I've talked about the good casting. Now I'm going to talk about the bad. Everyone else in this movie, at least on the core team, is woefully miscast. Ioan is WAY too much of a pretty boy to look like Reed, and more importantly his voice doesn't carry itself with that confidence that I would expect from the man. He's very soft spoken instead. And Michael something or other is likewise not the best choice for the Thing. He's not gruff yet lovable enough. Jessica Alba (hey, someone whose last name I can spell!) tries too hard to be Sue. Her eyes look fake, because they are, and her hair also looks fake, though decent. She and Chris don't really look like they could pass as siblings. I don't see why they couldn't cast someone who was blonde haired and blue eyed naturally. I mean, how many damned people in Hollywood are there that look like that? She also doesn't do much, aside from complain about her wedding. Sue's more than that. I love Sue. Jessica doesn't give me that as Sue. Much like his 'other half' Julian as Doom just doesn't work. Again, it's that voice thing. Doom is menacing. Julian's voice could easily be cast as a hero in a Disney cartoon. That just doesn't work. And he doesn't speak in third person. Probably stupid, I know, but that's the way Doom is. I want legit Doom!

This movie has no emotional payoff at all. I'm the kind of guy who wants some sort of moment where I care. Sue actually gets 'killed' in this movie, cradled by the man that she loves, and yet I feel nothing at all. I actually kind of felt more for when Sue and Johnny hugged post resurrection than I did for Sue and Reed. Considering they're supposed to be the OTP this probably isn't a very good thing. There's also a seemingly possible subplot dealing with Johnny's adherence to being called 'John' instead, as a way of forcing maturity onto himself. It is dropped like within the first twenty minutes, and that's kind of sad. It would have been humorous to see him continually struggle to be 'manly' only to be shot down, and then have him accept that he is who and what he is. In the comics, Johnny don't care that he's called Johnny. He's Johnny, dammit. Not John. If they were going to point it out then they should have done something with it. They didn't. Sadness.

Johnny's also really, REALLY gay in this movie. In the bad way. The kind of way that gives slash writers some sort of justification for what they do. It's wrong. Though it isn't that unbelievable within the context. Evans's Johnny is a horndog. I wouldn't be surprised if he would take it no matter how he could get it. That being said, Johnny... MY Johnny, ain't like that. And they need to get rid of that.

The power swapping element of the film is very appealing. I love those kinds of stories in the comics most of all, but here there isn't enough done with it. Somehow, Johnny has Ben and Reed's powers for all of two seconds, yet, at the climax, he is able to just 'know' how to utilize them without any sort of training, either by himself or by the people who he swapped powers with? A prodigy, this movie Johnny must be. The same can be said of Reed when he gets Johnny's powers. Sue at least struggles with them. But Reed is a super-genius, so I can at least partially buy that. Given that it was the part of the film I enjoyed, however, I would certainly like to have seen more done with it. Just because.

Frankie Raye is mishandled in this film. A love interest of Johnny's, and a future herald of Galactus. Here, she's an Army Captain. And she isn't afraid of fire. And at the end, after basically dogging Johnny (for good reason), she's ready to spawn his children. Well, not really, but they're an item for the most part. We never see anything that could possibly justify that. See the part about lack of emotional connection. It just happens. I don't know who that woman is, but she's hot. More screentime with hotties is always a good thing.

Something in superhero movies that pisses me off is the way that they basically up a person's powers so that they can fit the plot. Wolvie can survive being ripped apart at a subatomic level in X3, and Johnny can fly from New York City to DC in all of the blink of an eye. Yeah. No. I know these characters. I know what they can and can't do. Don't try and fool me just to move the damned plot along. Bad writers, bad.

The writing was... eh. Like with the Surfer part I stated above, I like the acting that is done in more subtle ways. This movie has a habit of just out and out saying what they're going to do instead of giving you that emotional connection. If the moment would have been completely silent, and let the actors do something just with their bodies, it would have been much more effective. It had a good plot, though, I can give it that. It didn't try and do a million different things (like Spider-Man 3) so it was much more cohesive.

Doom as Emperor Paleptine was dumb. Stop doing shit like that, people. Get somewhat original, please. And the final scene is so utterly hokey that it just kills the cred that the movie had. I can understand 'why' they did it, but they still shouldn't have. Damn, that part was bad. BAD!

All in all, though my qualms with the movie in this review outweigh the stuff I liked (as is always the case) that doesn't mean I didn't like it. I did. I'll probably buy it on DVD more than likely. And though I won't actively try and see it again in theater, if I should happen along a plan to go and see it again, I might take the offer. That says a lot.

So, here are my grades:

1-10 scale: 6 out of 10
Grade scale: C+

And I got through the review without saying the 'f' word a single time. No, not THAT 'f' word, the other one.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 23rd, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
Damn, that was a long review. How do you do these things? All in all, it was fun.

For your birthday there was a sonic's about an hour and a half away in turlock and one in merced. What do you think? Let me know what day is best for you... <33
Jun. 23rd, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
I think Merced is closer than that. I knew about the one in Merced. I saw it, once. But I was with my Aunt, and I couldn't be like "HEY, STOP, SONICS!!!" She wouldn't understand. Sadness. The day? I don't know yet... I really don't. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

As for the review, it's easy. I just write, and write, and write, and write until I'm done. That's what I do, yup yup.
Jun. 24th, 2007 12:00 am (UTC)
I was at Oakridge today and there will be a Disney Store next to the Hot Topic this summer.
Jun. 24th, 2007 12:03 am (UTC)
SCORE!! Thanks for the news.

And the fact that you went to Oakridge without me doesn't even depress me that much...

THAT much...
Jun. 24th, 2007 12:08 am (UTC)
You had to work! I went first thing in the morning, no one was there, I found parking like in two seconds. It w beautiful.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )