January 11th, 2004

Pluto close up

Apocalyptic dreams suck

I'm like the slayer... I'm having this dream where we have this BIG Earthquake, bigger than the one we had last month. And I'm at home, in Chico, with a whole lot of my family (no idea why my family would be in chico, but that's not supposed to make sense) and we're all trying to get out of the house and into the basketball courts. But my uncle is trying to find something, and he's old, so I'm telling him he can't. We all manage to get out, but as we get out the houses start to crumble. AND as that's happening, a car accident happens outside that makes the sound of crumbling houses.

Yet, no one was hurt, which is good... so... yeah...
  • Current Mood
    A bit spooked
Pluto close up

Grr

Well, it's official. I will be staying in this hell hole for another week and a half. Not because I want to, but because I must. Since the funeral got pushed back (again) I can't just leave without paying respects (and going to LA, Brian hunting, GH star hunting, and Jpop calendar searching) and my grandmother REALLY wants me to go with her. You know me, I can't just deny my grandmother anything unless I have a legit reason to do so. And even then, it is met with much inner turmoil and pain about not doing something for the person I love more than anything else. (Yes, even the Brian/BoA we will make Set babies combonation pales to the love for Nana) So, "I just want to get the hell away from this town and go back to school," while a damned good reason, isn't legit enough to deny her the wish that she wants. What sucks is that I was sooooo happy to be going to LA this weekend, Brian was supposedly there... and since he's my current godly idol guy that I want to meet and be like 'ooooooooooooooooooooooo' while getting strange looks and possibly restrained by law... I thought I could meet him and be happy. I dunno, he might still be there, but I doubt it. It would kick so much ass if he were, but I probably blew my chance. or, rather, my cousin blew my chance because he can't be buried in a timely manner. Honestly, when I die, just cremate my ass, I don't care about getting my head crushed with a blunt object, I'll be dead.

Today at Albertsons I saw three people, two of which graduated from high school with me, and one that just graduated the last year. Really, two of them I wasn't expecting much out of. Hell, a part of me is surprised that they didn't just get into a car accident and die like so many of the other false icons that think they're the shit because my high school was so very fickle. But the third guy... he's a lot like me. I really didn't expect to see him around here... let alone WORKING AT ALBERTSONS... it's really sad the way that my hometown sucks away any and all potential from those that are raised here. I swear to god, no one has wanted to get out of this place more than me, which is why I'm one of the few who actually DID. Scheduled... and very agonizing visits aside. I know that every time I come here, I'm going to be saddened because there is going to be SOMETHING that makes me realize... this place is horrible. I'll come back and see people that I care about wasting away their time doing nothing.

And I feel like shit for getting out, but I'm so thankful that I did.